Waxing lyrical – How to write product descriptions that sell

A couple of posts back I wrote about adding emotion to marketing content so it appeals to human beings in all our messy, irrational, illogical glory. This time I thought I’d home in, get specific and look at how to write great product descriptions.
Rather than trying to explain what works best, I’ve re-written three of the saddest and least compelling descriptions I could find.

Product descriptions that sell

Here are three examples of sub-standard product descriptions, each re-written to make the product or service more exciting, attractive and desirable.

1. YSL’s Elle fragrance

Sub-standard description:
Yves Saint Laurent Elle –  Eau de Parfum 100ml,  the essence of Yves Saint Laurent femininity.
Marketing-led description:
Unpredictable. Unique. The very essence of femininity. This luxurious scent epitomises the chic contemporary woman, modern and fresh. Rich in contrasts and fascinating contradictions, it’s strong and passionate. Clean, crisp lemon and lychee notes combine with peony petals, with exotic jasmine Sambac at its heart plus rose and freesia, pink berries and lovely woody base notes of vetiver, patchouli and cedar. YSL Elle is luxurious and desirable, a masterpiece of a women’s fragrance adored by millions. If you love a scent that inspires you to look and feel your very best, sensual and appealing, this one’s for you. 

2. Home for sale

Sub-standard description: 

A four bedroom detached property with mature gardens and swimming pool.

Marketing-led description:

Are you searching for a top quality four bedroom home in Hove? Do you want lots of space and light, plus a lovely big garden to play and entertain in? All this and more is yours with this gorgeous family home, situated within a stone’s throw of bustling central Brighton in a surprisingly quiet area. As well as beautifully decorated living spaces you’ll love the convenient double garage and three handy outbuildings, all in great condition. Plus the icing on the cake… a massive heated swimming pool! It’s fresh on the market this week and we’ve already had a lot of interest in this gorgeous premium property. Click here to arrange a viewing.     

3. Business support packages

Sub-standard description:
We offer reliable local business support service packages on a virtual assistance basis to help you cope when there’s too much work.
Marketing-led description:
You’re finding it hard to see the wood for the trees. Your ‘to do’ list just keeps on growing. There are too few hours in the day and you spend most of it fire-fighting. Are you struggling to get things done, unable to focus on growing your business? Help is at hand. We’re intelligent, reliable, affordable self-starting virtual assistants. We’ll clear the everyday stuff quickly and efficiently so you can get on with conquering the world. Let’s talk.

No essay required

It’s human nature – if someone tells us something is brilliant, we take notice. So make the most of your product descriptions and you should see an improvement in sales conversion.
There’s no need to write an essay about a product or service. But waxing lyrical briefly and eloquently does more to attract buyers than a few bare facts grudgingly cobbled into a single, bald sentence.

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