The murky world of sales conversion madness

Now and again a new client will tell me a horror story, revealing a tantalising glimpse of a strange and murky business netherworld. A place where getting a basic copywriting quote is as complex as a full-scale West End theatre production of War and Peace, and it takes several light years to get a reply to a simple question.

How I boost sales conversion

I know my copywriting skills are important for sales conversion, but so is reacting quickly to enquiries. If I left business enquiries languishing in my inbox for more than a few hours, my conversion rate would drop through the floor. As it is, I check my email six times a day and reply straight away, even if it’s just to say I’ve got the message safely and I’ll get back to them by five.

My favourite tales of client woe and commercial dysfunction?

  • the copywriter who sent my customer an eight page quote for a one page job
  • the writer who communicated in such flowery, Dickensian business-speak that my client was offended and puzzled, convinced they were taking the mickey
  • a copywriter who wrote – at intense, intimate and tedious length – about what her mentor would advise her to do and what her personal problems were
  • writers who take days or weeks to respond then sulk / beg / rant / weep / shout when it turns out you found someone on day one

Crazy people. But I’d like to thank them for the business!