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In my experience, the legal and financial services professions fail more often than they succeed in the effective communication stakes. They tend to be the worst offenders, adept at turning perfectly clear marketing messages into gobbledegook, the opposite of plain language.
I thought it’d be fun to re-write the index page of one firm of top London solicitors, who shall remain nameless for the sake of good manners… and because otherwise they might sue me!
Here’s what their home page says
“We are a top 100, London based law firm with around 170 highly-regarded specialist solicitors and lawyers, working in departmental teams. We advise a mix of commercial, not-for-profit, regulatory and personal clients.
Many (company name) teams and people are leaders in their fields in London or nationally, winning peer-group accolades in areas as diverse as commercial property, regulation, crime and childcare law. The firm is highly rated by legal directories.
Our breadth of expertise means we can tackle complex multi-dimensional cases that are beyond the scope of many other firms of solicitors. A significant proportion of our work comes from referrals from other solicitors or professional firms.”
What’s so wrong with it?
- they focus on blowing their own trumpet
- they don’t try to meet readers’ needs
- it’s wholly feature-focused and doesn’t include any customer benefits
- the language is unnecessarily corporate in style
- there’s no call to action
- there’s no header and no subheads to break up the copy…
- … which means they haven’t thought about optimising the copy for search engines, which in turn means their target audience won’t easily find the site
How might it work better?
Here’s my rewrite, which in the absence of keyword research simply focuses on the term ‘London law firm’.
Top class legal services from a respected London law firm
As a large, respected London law firm, we have the resources to deal with any legal problem you can throw at us. With 170 experts at your fingertips, many of whom are specialists, we stand up for the legal rights of all sorts of commercial, not-for-profit, regulatory and personal clients.
Highly recommended London solicitors
Many of our legal experts are leaders in their fields, which means you get the very best shot at justice. If you have problems with commercial property, regulation, crime or childcare law, we come highly recommended.
We confidently take on complex, multi-dimensional cases that ordinary solicitors can’t handle. The proof of the pudding is in the eating: a lot of our cases are referred from fellow legal professionals, which means they trust us to do an excellent job for the people and businesses relying on us.
Contact us for a free legal consultation
If you want to resolve your legal problem, why not contact us? We’ll discuss your case first, at no cost, before providing the very best advice.